Let's talk about mommy guilt

We have all felt it...mommy guilt. It really is one of the worst feelings in the world I think. I had a huge dose of it this summer when I was put on bed rest at 25 weeks with the pregnancy of my daughter. My poor son (at that time two) had absolutely no idea why his usually semi-energetic mommy was suddenly in forever time out on the couch. He would ask me to do the simplest things like go get him a drink or help him with the potty and I had to tell him that I couldn't because I wasn't able to get up. He was so confused and distressed over the whole situation. After the birth of our daughter, if we would go out somewhere, my son would ask me, "Are you coming too mommy?" He would do this to me for months, he was so used to going places without me.

On Friday, I thought that me and the kids had a great day! We went to Starbucks for coffee and milk and shared fruit and yogurt for breakfast and then we headed to the new library so my son could get his first library card and spend some time reading and playing. I got home slightly behind schedule and started working as soon as I walked in the door.This is another area of huge mommy guilt for me, choosing to work from home. My son, in general, has adapted well to me and my decision to not give him all my attention all day long. But of course there are days when he can't understand why I can't put that track back together right at that moment or why he can't talk to me for 30 minutes because I'm making phone calls for a client...it stinks.

So, mommy guilt. Do you ever have it because you really want some time all to yourself? I think that type of mommy guilt should have it's own category. Like, Friday night, I wanted to take a bath...all by myself. I had to sneak upstairs and hope that no one knew I was missing. WRONG! I just got in the tub, stretched out, got my book when I heard, "Can I get in the bath with you?" Sheesh! How did he find me so quick?! I found myself pleading with my son to leave me alone just I can be myself. How do you effectively explain this to a three year old? He finally said, "Okay mommy, I will. I will go back down to daddy." But not before he gave me his dolphin and a boat from his bathtub. So, he did leave, but I wasn't left feeling happy about my time alone, I felt horrible! Once more, guilt ridden. I felt so bad that I asked him to leave me alone just so I could get a bath. All he wanted to do was spend time with me and play in the bathtub and I shooed him away. What's wrong with me?

Then I realized, I'm a work at home mom, that's wrong with me. I constantly surround myself with my children (by choice) so that I can work at home and I can watch them grow with me. I shouldn't feel guilty for wanting some peace and quiet to myself; all parents deserve that time! So, what I learned is what I need to learn to deal with is the feeling of guilt. It's a natural feeling and very deal-able. The problem with guilt is it's an unsettling, almost achy feeling and it's hard to shake, but as parents we need to learn to shake it. In the end, the majority of things that we feel guilty about are good for the whole family. It may not feel good initially, but it probably has good intentions behind it. For instance, my bath: 1.) I needed a few moments to myself to de-stress and wind down from the day which creates harmony in me, 2.) It gave the kids a chance to hang with daddy for a bit and 3.) I was clean again!

Now you tell me, when was the last time you felt mommy guilt?

The Circus is Coming!

I am so excited! The circus is coming! I'm even more excited to share this fun event with my three year old. My husband and I decided that this was the year that he was old enough to enjoy the circus and we are circus bound next Thursday! But here is the funny thing...

Have you ever tried to explain the circus to a three year old? I told him there were animals there and he asked, "Like the zoo?" "No...it's the circus, not the zoo. There are clowns there too!" He then asks me, "Why is it someone's birthday?" Me: "No...Well, it might be someone's birthday. Never mind, that's not the point." He really makes me doubt myself as a past educator:)

Finally, I broke down and we got on the Internet and checked out The Ringling Brothers and Barnum & Bailey Circus's Blue Tour which is what we are going to see!

Would you like to see the circus too? Check out this great opportunity and for more information about Ringling Brothers and Barnum & Bailey Circus including when they are coming to your area, please visit http://www.ringling.com/.

Special Offers!

Offer #1: Get 4 tickets for just $44 by entering the code "MOM" at select ticketing channels**. Offer good on all performances, minimum purchase of 4 tickets required; additional tickets above 4 can be purchased for $11 each. Offer not valid at Gold Circle Seating, Circus Celebrity Seating, Front Row and VIP seating or combinable with other offers. Other Restrictions May Apply.

The tickets can be purchased from www.ticketmaster.com and by entering the MOM code in the "MC promotional box" when purchasing tickets.

Offer #2: A select amount of Front Row and VIP seats have been reserved for you to buy before they go on sale to the public - just enter the code "MOM" when purchasing those seats.

If you live in the Baltimore/DC/Virginia area, the dates are as follows for your performances! Hope to see you there!

Baltimore show dates: March 25 through April 5 Baltimore location: 1st Mariner Arena http://www.baltimorearena.com/ Washington D.C. Show dates: March 19 through March 22 Washington D.C. location: http://www.verizoncenter.com/

Fairfax, VA Show dates: April 8 through April 19
Fairfax, VA location: http://www.patriotcenter.com/

We all have our secrets...talk to someone!

My husband jokes around with me that I'm the neighborhood spy. I have a huge window in my office and a large bay window that is right next to the sofa in our great room. I love to watch out the window and see the world below me; what neighbor talks to what neighbor, whose dog just ran away and the children romping around. But tonight I saw something that made me extremely sad.

I saw a tow truck drive down our street. It got to the end of our street, turned around at the end and slowly crept back down the street with it's head lights off. I said to my husband, "I think one of our neighbors is about to get repo'd." I in no way found enjoyment in this thought, but at the same time I couldn't stop watching. I watched this man get out of the passenger side of the truck, walk down to a neighbor's house (who I'm close to) and get into their vehicle. (Did you know that repo men can make keys to drive your car away??!! How creepy is that?) The vehicle was backed up with no headlights on and the man sped away with the tow truck speeding down the street behind him.

I turned to my husband, shocked and told him what happened. I couldn't believe it! I thought this family was so well off! They were one of the last families to purchase their house at a decent price before the housing market fell off the cliff. My husband was just as confused...how could that happen to "them"?

We have had our fair share of money problems in this house, especially when I decided to leave my job to become a stay at home mom. That was half the reason I decided to become a Virtual Assistant over the summer...to bring in more money. My husband is extremely embarrassed when we have to say "no" to an invitation because we don't have extra cash to spare. It's hard on me to; especially since I have a serious shoe and handbag addiction!

What a sad sight to see tonight...I'm still struggling with the sadness. I said to my husband, "What do we do? It's not even 10:00 pm and this family is already in bed. They have no idea what just happened. Should be we call them?" My husband looked at me and said, "Do you think they really want us to know their personal business? We should just pretend we never saw it happen."

How sad...that we have to live in a world that we have to put on a show or pretend that we aren't having money problems when we are. As horrible as it felt, I listened to my husband. When things were at their worst in our home when it came to money, I was unable to tell anyone. I was embarrassed and I still am. But I wish that I could tell my friends and family.

My hope is that we are able to bring down our walls of fear of embarrassment and open up to those around us. Too many people are losing their cars, homes and personal belongings because we are afraid to ask for help. If you are in this position, please talk to friends and families, you never know who may be able to help you!